Corporate passive aggression may not always be productive, but it can certainly be hilarious. A few Starbucks locations in New York City are now sending an ever-so-subtle message to their wi-fi hogs: drink up and scoot.
Many Starbucks stores offer the perfect atmosphere for summer lounging. There's air conditioning, over-sugared icy beverages, plush chairs, a bland soundtrack, and free internet. What more could your average bored upper-middle-class city dweller want out of a business? The only problem Starbucks faces now is that their customers just won't leave. They've made it too comfortable for people and now they're sticking around all day.
So what's a corporate coffee chain to do? Subtly edge them out by cutting off their power source, of course. NYC Starbucks have started covering up electrical outlets with metal plates in the hopes that campers will edge out when their laptop batteries die. Passive aggressive? Sure, but somebody's got to rotate the bourgeois bohemians. It's good for the air quality.
I've seen local coffee shops solve the problem of the lounger by offering just one hour of free wi-fi, after which the customer has to pay per hour. I think that's a little bit more of a sensible solution. Instead of forcing shifts on their clientele, they're just saying, "if you're going to live here, you've got to pay rent." Besides, the dedicated New York City loungers will just bring their iPads or super-souped batteries along with them and continue to check Twitter for five hours straight. Cute move, Starbucks, but I think you underestimate the determination of the average 20-something who just wants to drink expensive coffee drinks and do nothing all day. These kids are committed to their indolence. They will fill up your cloned coffeeshop with their bratty ennui. Just you try and stop them.
