May 2009

Bikini Baristas

legacy/bikini barista_0.

In the old days, someone like Mr. Roper on Three's Company was forced to either go to beach himself (which I don't really recall him ever doing) or to get out his trusty binoculars to spy on girls in their bikinis. Fortunately for a lot of people in the Pacific Northwest, men don't have to go anywhere but their local espresso stand (for the price of about 4 or 5 dollars) to see a young hottie with a bodacious bod in her bikini or lingerie serving up cappuccinos. Some earnest young Tacoma man has even started his own blog devoted only to these prime girls in their bikinis, publishing locations and pictures of the stands and sometimes even the girls themselves. (actually taking photos of the girls is frowned upon)

Beer + Coffee= Sober?

legacy/coffeebeer.

In my 20's, back when I was more of a drinker, my friends and I would often go out drinking, then go out to  breakfast for something healthy like chicken-fried steak and then smoke about half a pack of Marlboro Lights while slurping about four cups of mud-like coffee to sober us up. Occasionally, one of us would drive in a situation when we shouldn't have, believing that our blood alcohol levels would have been miraculously and mysteriously lowered by the coffee.

Small Talk

At my place of employment (Starbucks) one thing we must do is constantly chat it up with customers.  Any time people are waiting for their drinks we have to think of something fun and exciting to talk about.  Of course 90% of the time we don't think of anything original so we resort to the same old drab "small talk" conversations that millions of people must endure daily.  For some reason, both the customers and employees tolerate this and we even act as though it is an interesting, useful conversation we are having.  We try to pretend this is important dialogue, when of course everyone involved in the conversation knows this isn't true.