Our area's parking lots are dotted with those little privately owned espresso stands, of course. But I have to say, my experience at these has never been great. I don't think I've ever ordered a drink and had it prepared correctly.
There's always something. At the last three places I've been, 1) I ordered an Americano with room but it came without, 2) I ordered a vanilla latte but the barista forgot to add the vanilla, and 3) I failed to specify two shots in a tall drink, and only got one.
(One shot in a tall is the norm out here, Land of the Snickers Mocha, where no one wants to sully their sweetened flavored coffee drink with, you know, COFFEE.)
This is why Starbucks and McDonalds Café offerings are so popular: they may not be the best, but at least they're consistent.
Meanwhile, every gas station has coffee, but it's terrible. I mean, is it even funny to make fun of gas station coffee?
So you can imagine I was intrigued when the nearest Shell station (4 miles away) put in a push-button espresso machine. C.f. "at least it's consistent."
This one works like a typical hot cocoa machine, where you push the button until your cup is full. This allows you to mix and match flavors, which is an interesting prospect.
On the down side, I was a little perplexed by the choices. The machine offers Extreme Caffeine, Hot Cocoa, Mocha, and White Chocolate Caramel. As I mulled over the options I furthermore noted that nowhere on the machine did it actually use the word "coffee."
By process of elimination, I decided that Extreme Caffeine had to be the "baseline latte" option. Feeling bold, and a little excited by the Mystery Box aspect of this adventure, I pushed the button. Extreme Caffeine - judging by the looks and the smell that wafted forth - is indeed a latte-like heated beverage.
Thus emboldened, I mixed it about 70/30 with some of the White Chocolate Caramel. This also proved to be somewhat latte-like.
The resulting beverage had no crema, and little in the way of foam. The color was pale, maybe a few shades darker than honey. I don't know about the extremity of the caffeine, but it pushed away the late afternoon headache that had been looming.
The "white chocolate" exists mostly in the way of a vaguely vanilla-ish sweetness. But I will say this: they nailed the caramel flavor. What is it about caramel, that it's so easy to transform into an artificial flavor?
Back at home I perused the Java Classics website. I was relieved to discover that both Extreme Caffeine and White Chocolate Caramel contain actual coffee (instant coffee though it may be). The first ingredient in most of the Java Classics offering is "sugar," as you might expect.
Although not an espresso beverage, and only barely a coffee drink, the Java Classics machine at least delivers on its promise of consistency. I don't know about that "Extreme" thing, though. Extreme Caffeine contains only 90mg of caffeine per 8oz serving, which is more than Mountain Dew but less than an average cup of coffee, and about half what you get in a single shot of espresso.