I could tell today was going to be a lovely day, so I packed it up and headed to Starbucks for my first Frappuccino of the season. I was excited about the nice weather (72 and sunny, does it get any better?) and eager to try the newly overhauled Frappuccino.
Truth be known, I don't understand why they decided to overhaul the Frappuccino anyway. People who wanted it customized could ask for customizations. I never heard anyone complaining about how "those darn Frappuccinos are just too restrictive!" In fact, it's my observation that people in general suffer from a surfeit of choice. Few people cry out for "more bewildering options, please!" And yet, that is exactly what Starbucks has chosen to deliver.
Once I decoded the new procedures, they amount to the following: you now order a Frappuccino the same way you order an espresso drink. Instead of a tall nonfat latte with sugar-free vanilla, you could order a tall nonfat Java Chip Frappuccino with sugar-free vanilla.
The main difference with the new Frappuccino is that in the past, they used three drink bases. Now they start with any fluid you want (soy, whole milk, nonfat milk, whatever) and add ingredients plus a drink mix powder. It's true that in the past you could have added a shot of sugar-free vanilla to a Java Chip Frappuccino, but you couldn't have had it made with nonfat milk. Or extra-strong drip coffee. Or decaf. Or OH WHO ARE WE KIDDING WE'RE ALL GOING TO ORDER THE EXACT SAME THING WE ALWAYS DO.
Here is what happened: I walked up to the counter slowly, gawking at the signs, trying to figure out how the heck to get my regular Frappuccino. Then I asked the barista, "Can I just get a tall mocha Frappuccino with an extra shot of espresso?" And she said "Sure," and that is what I got. The same thing I always get. I like that thing I always get. That is why I always get it. LIFE'S FUNNY THAT WAY.
I have to confess that, not having had a Frappuccino in almost a year, I couldn't detect much of a change. Frappuccino fans are wailing and rending their garments in grief over the new formulation, but it seemed pretty much the same to me. How do you judge a Frappuccino to be "too sweet," anyway?
One difference is that it seemed to be foamier than I remembered. As if the magic powder included a stabilizer which lets them make the same volume of drink with less ingredients, thus saving money. (Funny, that.) It also lacked a lot of the ice chips which always annoyed me in the previous incarnation.
Did the sweetness and flavor linger longer than in the past? Maybe, but then again, I've quit smoking since the last time I had a Frappuccino, so maybe I just taste it better. (I find that Frappuccinos - and most things, really - taste a lot better when you don't follow them up by licking an ashtray.)
Just like the old Frappuccino, you are left with a delicious sludge at the bottom of your cup which cannot be slurped up with a straw, unless you are prepared to make disgusting noises in public. It's nice to see some things never change.