Starbucks Toffee Mocha

Starbucks Toffee Mocha

Every so often, Starbucks likes to launch a new coffee drink flavor, just to keep us on our toes.  

Some of these flavors wither on the vine, so to speak, getting the thumbs-down from internal taste testers before they even hit the market.  Such is the case with the banana mocha, which a super-secret source assures me was every bit as awful as it sounds.

Other flavors just don't seem to go anywhere.  The only place I have seen the dark cherry mocha offered is at the Starbucks near the Winco foods in Marysville, WA.  Do all Starbuckses carry the dark cherry mocha, and only that one mentions it?  Was it a super limited market test?  Or something they dreamed up at that particular store?  I don't know.  I could just ask, I suppose, but that kills the mystery.

A third category become instant favorites with the public, and are asked to return every season.  The pumpkin spice latte springs to mind, as does the gingerbread latte.

Into which category will the new toffee mocha fall?  It's hard to say.  I tasted one and I didn't like it, but I don't like caramel macchiatos either, so what do I know?

I should preface this review by explaining that I bought my toffee mocha at one of those grocery store Starbucks kiosks.  My understanding is that the free-standing grocery store Starbucks kiosk has very little to do with the actual Starbucks company, beyond serving their products and wearing their logo.  I don't think the kiosk employees receive official training, and I believe they are technically employees of the host store.  (If you know otherwise, please let me know!)

(This of course is in contrast to the in-store Starbucks store, which is a regular store that happens to be sharing space with the grocery store.  I know it's confusing.  Long story short, if it has a direct door to the outside, it's a Starbucks.  If it's completely contained within the store, it's not.)

I have noticed that the personnel at this particular kiosk tend to be heavy-handed with the flavors.  I assume it's a combination of not caring, and not wanting to get whined at by customers complaining the flavors were too light.  

Even mentally adjusting the volume of the flavors, I didn't care for this one.  

The initial taste was murky, almost muddy.  It had salty overtones, and a flavor which my mind insisted on identifying as "peanut butter."  It was like eating a Kit Kat.  Or, heaven forbid, one of those "Snickers mochas" that parking lot espresso stands are always hawking.

The toffee mocha comes with sprinkles on top.  These were cute at initial presentation.  But as you drink it, they blend in and turn the whole thing an unsettlingly pinkish shade of pale taupe.

After I passed the halfway point and was able to swirl it up from the bottom, the taste turned almost musty, like a mouse-ridden basement, only sweeter.  Not very appealing, right?

The entire experience, from the color to the strange salty taste, was so off-putting that I would actually make an effort to give this thing another shot.  I can't believe Starbucks would sell something this terrible, so I've made a mental note to try one the next time I visit a proper Starbucks store.